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How long do I have to have a child? #4

Not just a matter of stats…

It will be understood:the fateful age, apart from individual variations that no one can predict, is therefore 35 years old. So what? Because, all the same, there is something that we forget, apart from the major sociological and economic changes. That something is life. "My boyfriend died in a car accident ten years ago, when I was 29," says Élodie. For almost ten years, I did everything not to live in a stable relationship. I was going out, I was traveling but, looking back, I see that I was preventing myself from building something. Until I met the father of my child and got pregnant at 38. Oona, 47, had her son at 40. " Before ? I made 47 books, as a graphic designer. And having a baby just to have a baby, because the biological clock was ticking, that didn't seem to me to be thinkable! My mother and my brother put pressure on me, but I resisted. If I had met the "good one", fine, but I hadn't. At 38, I said to myself, too bad, it's over. And then, finally, I met the one who corresponded to my expectations. To sum up, as Catherine Vanier, psychoanalyst, points out:“There is a difference between wanting and desiring a child. Wanting is something we decide. Desire is much more mysterious. It is linked to our history, to the way we grew up, to our parents, etc. In other words, one can want a child on a conscious level, but be prevented from doing so on an unconscious level. And since men are as ambivalent as we are, the equation is complex, with several unknowns. Nevertheless:our belated mothers all agree that they would have liked to have clearer information on the subject. So Professor Olivennes drives the point home:“After 35 years, it’s more difficult. I have been attacked by feminists like Elisabeth Badinter on the pretext that I was pushing women to have children. But I'm just saying to those who believe they can be pregnant until they stop menstruating, that's not true. »